Hello Everyone!!

For this week’s stuttering spotlight, I’d like to introduce you all to the wonderful, Cristina Mortara.

She says:

Hi, My name is Cristina, I'm 30, I live in a little town in the North of Italy, near the sea.

I stutter for as long as I can remember.

It's my first time writing about stuttering. I grew up considering stutter as something shameful: the less I stuttered the better. For everyone, both me and the rest of world. Now, I'm discovering I can turn the tide. I can taIk about stuttering, and I can be proud as I am. I'm a clinical psychologist. I'm a wife and a mum (I'm deeply in love with those two). I love spending time traveling, reading, writing, having deep conversations, doing puzzles and board games. I love tea and elephants. I hope my words in this blog can be interesting or even helpful to anyone.

I'm in a working interview. The interviewer is examining my curriculum vitae. She is very surprised  but uncomfortable. She commends a lot my cv, she finds it extraordinary. But there is a but. I can see  this thought on her face: "How did she do all these things in these conditions?". I can understand her, sometimes I wonder it too. It's because I stutter and, actually in this moment I'm stuttering a lot.  Stutter is impeding me to say even a few sentences. I'd like to tell my examiner more details about my  experiences. I feel proud of many of them. But now I can't express it. The words are getting stuck in my  mouth. 

It's not always like this. Indeed, just few moments ago, I had some conversations without any  disfluency. It's the "magic" of stuttering: it's pure fluctuation. Like sea waves, a continuous up and  down. Like a seesaw, up and down. So, people who stutter learn to surf, to swing. Sometimes it hurts.  We 'd like a calm sea or a pause from the seesaw. Like anyone else. The great work is to accept  undulations, welcome grief, take the good. After all, stillness can result monotonous, boring but surfing  these continuous waves is also exhausting. As well as undulations, we try to accept also the fatigue,  both physical and mental. Meanwhile we face everyday situations, we try to live in this world, of  speedy words. It's not easy, we can feel like whiteflies, having to prove our worth more than anyone  else. We need more courage and energy. 

I wish every person who stutters has enough courage and energy when they need it, and a large group  of supporters when they don't have. 

At the end, against all my expectations, I got that job. 

Cristina